Beauty in the Breakdown
by sonic writer
Summary: "GROW UP ALREADY! He left, he's gone, and I am sorry." everyone said this. I know, its been year's since he left but they need to understand I am trying to pull myself together and honestly, it isn't easy. Memories of him are so vivid I can almost see him in front of me. All I wanted to know was where is he, and is he coming back?


Disclaimer: All characters belong to SEGA

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I breathe, I think, I love. These 3 elements are what made me up. They prevent me from tumbling down. If I use them too much I may end up broken. So at what extremes am I willing to go to just to see the man that left year's ago. Everywhere I go, I see him, him and him only. But the sad and bitter part is, i'm still in love with him.**_ Pathetic_**. That's what I am. A sad, pathetic, 25-year old who would do anything and everything for a man that she considered a hero. I would force my heart into his hands, only to have him give it back with ought hesitation or regret. **_Pitiful_**. He was the reason I woke up every morning and he still is. **_Upsetting_**. I'm back to the way I was as a mere 12 year old, giving love to everyone who crossed my path, only to receive fake smiles and empty promises. **_Pathetic_**.

I tried to forget but I can't. Those beautiful emerald eyes, radiating the dark atmosphere, his shiny cobalt fur that remained so warm and soft, and that prize winning smile...

**_AAAAHHHHHH_**

It hurts...it hurts so much to know he's not here anymore, to know he is probably in someone else's arms and not mine. I know his number by heart but as my fingers reach over to tap the final number that controls my future, something happens. My hand drops like a rock and the phone falls, hanging onto the line for dear life. I collapse to the floor and cry my heart out, pouring my feelings to the ground. The only thing that keeps me alive and awake is _him. _My angel. My little baby. _My_ son..._our_ son. He aged fast over the course of one year. As that year passed I realized he was no longer 1 but rather 5. He's been alive for 3 years making him 15. 15 already. 15 and ready for anything.. It wouldn't surprise though, his father was always a fast person. Too bad his dad couldn't possibly know about him. He left me before I could say anything, before I could do anything.

Help me. I'm breaking down, losing control every step I take, knowing i'm alone in this...whatever 'this' is...ugh...I can't think. My head is spinning and my body is numb. I need to rest. Yeah that's it. _Sleep..._

No! Forget sleeping! I need...I need a pain killer...yeah...I can't...can't reach...

I lean forward and then I stand straight and all of a sudden i'm fine again. Nothing happened. I'm standing exactly where I was just seconds ago, in front of the couch, expecting my son home from school soon. All of what just happened was a crazy hallucination, one out of the many I have daily. I proceed to tip over a bit to lay down but instead I collapse with a heavy THUD and suddenly i'm on the floor. Back to square 1 it seems.

_**HAHAHAHAHA**_

Mad. Simply mad and insane. I'm insane. JUST LOOK AT ME. Talking to NOTHING but the wall separating me from the rest of the world.

I _want_ him...

I _need_ him...

_**I LOVE HIM!**_

I think i'm crazy...Oh heavens no! Let me rephrase that. I AM crazy. Crazy in love. I don't feel great anymore. My stomach is up to my throat by this point but I swallow it back down. What's this warm feeling trickling down my arm. What's this substance on the floor? Is this..._it is_...it's my blood running through my hands. *cough*. More blood is spilling...hopefully Silver comes soon...where is that boy...

Before I could see the door open, my eyelids gave up on me and closed shut. My mind shuts off and i'm sleeping. Oh no...I did it again...I thought of him. When I think and think for a long time my mind runs wild and I no longer can control myself. What I do, what I create, what I change. This time it looks like I cut myself again. Suddenly my eyes pop open and i'm back. Nobody is home yet. I get up and look at my self. Oh GOD! Glass on the floor, blood trickling down the walls, feeling my pain and my broken heart heart lying limp in my stomach. I'm a mess...I better clean up before my son, Silver, get's home.

Before I can walk away to change I look at myself for a second again and I abruptly stop. What happened to me? Where did my old self go? What happened to my smile? Why can I no longer smile genuinely?" I suddenly turn away, disgusted by what I had just seen. I don't feel like myself anymore, I feel weird, almost _different_. I guess that's the beauty in the break

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**n**...

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This is it! My first ever story :)! It came out pretty bad, I know... don't judge me...LOL no i'm just kidding! The story is a sonamyshad love triangle and it is told from Amy's point of view and I will make a couple of chapters on silver's view from everything. Right now the plot is kind of tangled but I will figure it out as it goes along. Anyway thanks for reading guys and as always comments are very much appreciated :)! Adios for now guys!


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